The Big Bang Afternoon

To understand my afternoon, you need to first read this comic strip:

http://comics.com/pickles/2009-11-18/


Really, my afternoon started out innocently enough.

I logged on to Sploofus, the trivia site where I am a member, and I started out reading the chat forum. I always like to know what everybody is doing and what they are saying.

A member had asked how everyone roasted marshmallows and many said the usual bonfire. Some said they roasted marshmallows over a firepit, another said over the flame on the gas stove, another one said they used their wood-burning stove.

My answer was simple: Microwave 'em.

In response, someone posted a remark that I felt made a joke at my expense for nuking marshmallows. To show them I knew what I was talking about, I explained how I make s'mores.



Place one graham cracker square on a small saucer and place a square of chocolate on the graham cracker. I use the chocolate that is 80% chocolate or higher so this treat has some redeeming value. (Someone told me that chocolate is good for you if it is 70% chocolate or higher, so I'm really going the extra mile at 80% chocolate. Can you sense I am trying to justify eating s'mores?)

I place four or five miniature marshmallows on top of the chocolate square and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds, more or less.

I added the comment that I lead a boring life - I think it's fun to watch those little marshmallows puff up like mushrooms.

Here's where the afternoon began to go awry.

A fellow member of Sploofus read that comment and decided she would give me a call to liven up my afternoon - and life - a little.

It worked. We had a great conversation about this and that and all kinds of things. I'm a multi-tasker - or at least I used to be - so I propped the phone between my ear and shoulder and I tackled a few simple tasks while we were talking.

One of those tasks was to put a half dozen eggs on to boil. I filled the pan with water and put it on the burner. I continued with a few more small tasks while talking to my Internet friend.

She brought up something that was on the Internet so I went into my office to look up the item. We chatted about the item for several minutes. Well, probably more like 30 minutes or so. It was then I noticed my dogs were coughing as though they were going to cough up big fur balls. (Do dogs cough up fur balls? Well, you know what I mean.)

When I turned my attention to the dogs I noticed a smell I couldn't quite identify. That's not unusual for me because I have lost a good deal of my sense of smell.

I bet all of you have already figured out where this story is going, haven't you?

I followed the smell to the kitchen which was beginning to fill with a smoky haze. On the red-hot stove burner was my small pan with only two of the six eggs in it. I quickly turned off the burner and opened the windows to clear out the air and then went back to look for the missing eggs.

I don't know if you know this or not, but when eggs in the shell cook dry on the stove and high heat is involved, they explode. Not just nice little bangs and all the pieces stay in the pan. No, they e-x-p-l-o-d-e and pieces fly everywhere.

There were chunks of egg blasted onto the side of the refrigerator, the wall back of the stove and the bigger pieces that were too heavy to stick to the refrigerator had fallen between the stove and the refrigerator.

I think the dogs had tried to eat some of the egg out of the shells that exploded onto the kitchen floor and probably got some shell along with it, which is why they were gagging a little.

I guess I'm not as good at multi-tasking as I used to be. I suspect the next time my Internet friend calls me she will first ask if I have anything cooking on the stove.

It might be a good idea if the rest of you would do that also. I would appreciate it.