Flylady Column, Feb. 15

Scarlet O’Hara Syndrome
by The FlyLady, Marla Cilley

Our homes are filled with tons of stuff. There is only so much space in our homes but our stuff is expanding to fill every crack, crevice and cubby hole. It has grown at a cancerous rate!

In fact, it is not only multiplying at a remarkable rate but it is consuming us at the same time. It is robbing us of our self-esteem. It is stealing our time and it is alienating us from our family and friends. We have to put a stop to it.

I want you to think about when you first contracted this disease of stuff. In our book “Body Clutter,” we ask you what your comfort food was. We wanted you to look at why that food soothed you. I am going to use this assignment when it comes to our clutter. Clutter doesn’t happen overnight. It gradually sneaks in the door.

My clutter began to accumulate from having nothing but the clothes on my back after a bad marriage. Within a year I had accumulated everything I could possibly need into my two-bedroom cabin on the farm.

I like to think of this as the Scarlet O’Hara Syndrome. I was determined to never be without my stuff again. As a result of this stubborn resolve I unconsciously began collecting. Not for the sake of a cherished item but because I was trying to fill an empty hole. This is much the same way we do it with food. We will never be able to get enough stuff to fill that hole.

I want to help you eliminate this need for more stuff and at the same time give you the courage to let the clutter go. You don’t need “stuff” to define you as a person. This clutter is standing in the way of your peace.


I want you to take Scarlet’s quote – “As God is my witness, they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again." – and use it to help you eliminate your clutter. Let’s take her determination and use that power to Fling!

I am going to reword the quote for my FlyBabies:

“As God is my witness, CLUTTER is not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry for stuff again.”

We can stop this cancer in its tracks with our SHE (Sidetracked Home Executives) traits. We have determination! We can hyper-focus and we want to FLY! Finally Love Yourself!

Are you ready to get rid of your clutter, one bag at a time? That is how it came into your home. You can't organize clutter; you can only get rid of it. Organizing clutter is no better than a Band-Aid on a cancerous tumor. The growth needs to be removed before the healing can take place.

For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at http://www.flylady.net/ or her book, Sink Reflections published by Bantam and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Fireside. Copyright 2010 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.

Happiness is Not a State You Visit

by The FlyLady,

Marla Cilley

All I have ever wanted for you was happiness! As I stand in front of my fireplace, I realize I have surrounded myself with things that make me happy.

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Pam and Peggy's book "The Happiness File" taught me many wonderful ways to nurture myself and identify what really does make me happy. At first you don't know what makes you happy. You just know what does not make you happy.

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For me it started with shining my sink. I knew that a sink full of dirty dishes made me as bad as that nasty water smelled.

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When I focused on that one habit of keeping my sink clean and shiny, I found happiness each morning. The joy of cooking returned because I was not already behind before starting to cook. That one little habit changed my life.

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My next habit was decluttering for 15 minutes a day. I had held on to so many painful memories. The act of getting those out of my home gave me joy. I would never have to feel those unhappy memories again as I walked across the room. Now my home only has good memories. If an item becomes a bad memory, I immediately declutter it.

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I learned from the Happiness File that simple routines for the morning, afternoon and evening can free me up to enjoy the beauty that is all around me. With my work done, I was free to play, free to create or free to just sit. No guilt! A life with no guilt is a happy life.

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Do you want to find happiness? Just sitting and hoping that happiness will find you is not going to happen. It takes practice to find out what brings you joy. With "The Happiness File," I was able to work on one habit each month to help me find my joy. With this habit of practicing new things each month I found my calling in life!

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I built my very own happiness file right under my own roof. I had happy places in every room of my home: My kitchen had a clean and shiny sink, my living room had my favorite chair and a clean coffee table, my bedroom had a comfy bed that was made and my bathroom was clean and inviting each time I went in there. That was a lot because I was drinking my water and taking care of myself.

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Happiness is not a state you visit for a short period to time. It is a place you reside. Make your home your happiness file and you will find the joy that you have been searching for right under your own roof.

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For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out The FLYlady's Website and join her free mentoring group at http://www.flylady.net/ or get her book, "Sink Reflections," published by Bantam. Her New York Times Best-Selling book, "Body Clutter," is published by Fireside. Copyright 2010 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.